From My Journal

This is a vulnerable post from my very own journal that I’m choosing to share in the hopes that it might connect with someone else.

Please be gentle with me.

Yesterday I began outlining my second novel and as I was attempting to work through my characterization, I became stuck. I was brainstorming ideas for one of my character’s greatest desires and for whatever reason, I just couldn’t come up with anything. So I took to social media and asked on Instagram, “What is it you want in life?” I asked people to be vulnerable and honest about what they wanted out of this one life and while I waited for responses, I realized that I wouldn’t necessarily know how to answer this question for myself.

If I had to answer quickly, without too much thought involved I would most likely say comfort, deep connection, love.

But if I think about it on a deeper level, what I really desire right now is healing.

As I sit here, post meditation, I think of how much I want to be healed. Healed from the trauma and the hurt and the agony of it all.

But what I’m realizing right now is that healing isn’t a final destination. It’s not an end point on a map that I’ll suddenly roll up to and think, “Yep, I’ve done it, I’m healed!”

Healing is the journey, healing is the ride, healing is moving from one moment to the next, healing is the sticky bits between the good and the bad moments, between the joy and the sorrow. Right now, more than anything I desire healing, but what I didn’t realize was that I already have it.

If you’re also struggling, know that you’re not alone and that healing is happening for you too.